An Open Letter to Rashad Vaughn

Sup Rashad,

Have you ever seen the Bachelor? It is okay if you haven’t. It is this show that white girl’s love where a some dude picks between a group of women who he wants to marry. I know, us white people be crazy.

Well, you’re kind of like the Bachelor. You have your choice between a pretty large group of schools. You’ve narrowed down your choice, and the final rose ceremony is coming up and its time for you make a decision. So let me make a case for why you should choose UNLV.

Let me start off by saying that I have nothing bad to say about Iowa State, Kentucky, or North Carolina. The only negative things about those schools are that they aren’t UNLV.

So why should you choose UNLV:

-Because Dwayne Morgan, Goodluck Okonoboh, and yourself would be like the Three Musketeers of freshman basketball players. (The three swordsman, not the delicious chocolate bar)

-Khem Birch, Roscoe Smith, Deville Smith, Bryce Dejean Jones, Kendall Smith, Daquan Cook, Jelan Kendrick, Christian Wood, Etc.

-Because Vegas is a nice place to live. But you already know that. While back east they are digging themselves out of snow all winter, here in Vegas you can go golfing.

-Because we need a scorer. Not just a shooter, not a slasher. But a person who is capable of scoring wherever, whenever,  and however. You’d have an immediate impact and role on the team.

-Because UNLV is bound to make a big run. Lets face it, UNLV has disappointed in March Madness. We’re bound to breakthrough eventually, and you can be the catalyst to make it happen.

-Because it worked for Anthony Bennett, who was in a very similar circumstance as yourself.

-Because the Thomas and Mack Center is a great place to play basketball. Rupp Arena, The Dean Dome, and Hilton Magic may have its luster, but we have fireworks. Indoors.

-Because that game you came to, the Dixie State game. That was an exhibition game, and it was a fluke. I promise.

-Because the Rebellion. Have you seen Khem Kong? If you play your cards right, you could get your own monster replica. Maybe something like Count Vaughncula, Rashadnado or Wreck It Rashad. (It only took me two minutes to come up three potential nicknames.)

-Because if you stay in Vegas, you don’t have to move cross-country. Which is probably really annoying.

The bottom line is that UNLV is  good fit for you. It is a win-win for both UNLV and for you. UNLV wins game, adds another legend, and you become part of the rebel family.

And if in the end, you don’t think UNLV is the right place for you. Thats okay. We’ll wish you success in  your collegiate and professional career, and hope that you can always think of Vegas as your home.

We’ll be waiting patiently  until Tuesday when you announce.


Jake Runyon

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *